As I wander the campus of CMC, puffing a pipe simmilar to Gandolfs, I begin a moment of deep contemplation.

I'm in limbo, and I can't find my suit case. Everything that is me, that makes me me, and that was me, is gone. Lost in transition, I find my self broke, mentally and financially, slightly depressed due to isolation, and overall, just, plain, bored! Where's the insanity up here? Where's the extreamists? Where's THE FUCKING GONZONESS OF IT ALL?! I'm left, unanswered.

So at this fork in the road of butt-fuck-no where, I can either be greatly upset, which I've tried, and doesn't seem to get me very far, or just, totally uncarring, which involves a great deal of monotony. Neither are ideal situations, but I have to go somewhere.

To have your life kicked out from underneath you is something that will just cause you to loose balance, and I can't get back up. Not yet anyway. At times like these, I turned to others for the answer. But, I'm not up here in college to have others answer my questions anymore. I'm here to find, and conclude my own answers/solutions. But, in my search for inner peace, I've found nothing. Even getting high up here doesn't have the same sense of satisfaction as it once did in D-Town.

I've left my comfort zone, and entered a mine field. And to top it off, I'm wearing, very, very big shoes. Explosions are immenent, unless I tip toe around everything and everyone. The problem with this is, I FUCKING HATE IT!! Tip toeing isn't my style. I'm more like the, come marching in type, kick down the motha fuckin door, and open fire. However, such tactics up here would result in a shunning worse than that woman from The Scarlet Letter. Again, I'm lost as to what to do.

I'm an entity at this point. The Andrew you all know, versus the one that goes to school at Colorado Mountain College, is different in the sense that, one is alive, the other is a hard drive, absorbing specific information. I've become nothing more than a college sponge, sitting in the front of every class, paying attention, and not giving a moments consideration to those around me. Up here, I silence the world with hardcore, and concentrate immensly on getting the fuck out of the place that I was tricked into choosing to come to.

I have only my self to blame, and the responsibility is suffocating me. No matter how hard I try to fall into the darkness, the piercing beams of light pull me back, and resesotate me to a miserable existence, that is heaven on Earth to some other person in existence. Round, round, round we go, I've become someone I don't know.